Thursday, July 14, 2011
I am floating and I want it to stop. I'm not a wanderer or an adventurer. I'm someone who likes familiarity and my space. I have gone between Lawton and Norman several times in the past month, never settling down, hoping someone might change their mind. Lawton was for distance, but it is a shithole. El Paso is a possibility, I have friends there and the distance thing would come into effect again, but those friends aren't ready to strike out on their own and get their own place. I don't know what I'm doing. I guess I'm waiting for something to come into my life that says, "HEY MOTHERFUCKER." Until then I'll keep reading and writing. "Unbearable Lightness" helps. Kris Saknussemm helps. A job might help, just to give me something to do. But I'm not a big fan of regular jobs. I worked at Hibdon's for two goddamn weeks and decided that wasn't "for me", as though hauling tires in the heat is for somebody. Floop.