Thursday, December 30, 2010

road trip

I accompanied my brother Andrew on his journey from Oklahoma to Orlando, along with a friend of his.

Got in the car about 6:30. Icy cold. Drove for a bit, had to poop, did so in some bushes. Wiped with Mapquest directions, long live TomTom. The back suffocated me. Had to sit with my legs up, straight, not moving. I got to drive through Louisiana. That state is goddamn beautiful. Trees and rivers and steel bridges. Marshland, stumps just rising above the waterline. Around eleven o'clock that night I got tired. Lawton, Oklahoma to Pensacola, I believe. We had about six more hours to go. My idea: get a hotel, get something to eat, crash. Wake up at six AM and get to grandparent's house about 12. Little brother was not having it. I don't know whether that thought made him nervous or whether he was simply a mess, frantically needing to be near his woman. Shrug. He decided, instead, to drive straight through, get to grandparents house at 4, and sleep guessed it, 12. This made no logical sense to me. But I disagreed and therefore I was just a grouchy naysayer. You were with Andrew or against him. Rational dissent was not to be had. I disappeared into a Flying J to charge my phone, and this enraged him, which enraged me. I needed fifteen minutes to charge my phone. That was it. He told me "you have one minute. you can do without facebook for four hours." When I told him he was being uncompromising, he said, "I let you poop". Sigh.

So now we are here. I enjoy visiting the family. Florida is palm trees and fountains. Strip malls that look like Colombian drug lord compounds. Tomorrow I'm going to get a hot shave. Then I'm going to go to a comic shop. What I need to do, is hit up a bar. I need a drink.

Monday, December 13, 2010

5 best albums this year

1) Sleigh Bells - Treats. Probably the most unique, loud, obnoxious sound I have ever heard. I love this album so much, the only thing guaranteed to make me dance, regardless of mood or limbic fortitude.

2) Das Racist - Shut Up Dude/Sit Down Man mixtapes

These are for free online. If you heard them from that Taco Bell song, man you really don't know how hard these dudes bring it. The best beats, the funniest/cleverest/dumbest lines of the year.

3) Robyn - Body Talk

My new muse and inspiration. This woman has charisma and strength out the ass. And the songs, this one I listened to over and over and over.

4) Major Lazer and La Roux - Lazerproof

This one's another freebee mixtape that I just wore out this year. You've got a little dub, a little Carribean, dance hall kind of stuff. It goes so hard and yet I'm 90% sure you can make a baby to it.

5) Big Boi - Sir Luscious Leftfoot

Albums like this make me wonder if I'm not too forgiving with the hip hop I normally listen to. When someone brings it this hard it makes you shake your head at the rest of the hip hop in your collection, at least for a little bit.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

My first novel, BY THE TIME WE LEAVE HERE, WE'LL BE FRIENDS, is available.

It's got a badass wraparound cover by the awesome Alex Pardee:

From the back cover:

Siberia, 1953. Stalin is dead and a once-prosperous thief named Alek Karriker is feeling the pressure. Trapped in an icy prison camp where violent criminals run the show, betrayed by his friends and his body, Karriker is ...surrounded by death and disorder. Bizarre Inuit shamans are issuing ever-stranger commands that he must obey. Opium is running scarce and bad magic is plentiful. Razor-tooth gangsters can smell Karriker’s blood and they plan to murder him more than once. The only option: ESCAPE.

Enlisting the aid of an aging guard, a cold-blooded killer, and a beautiful, murderous nurse, Karriker must now secure his getaway by finding a "calf": a gullible prisoner to be cannibalized when the tundra is at its most barren. As the vice grows tighter and life in the gulag becomes increasingly surreal, Karriker must hurry to find his mark and convince him...


It's also got some lovely praise from kick-ass authors Monica Drake, Cody Goodfellow, Kris Saknussemm, Stephen Graham Jones, and Paul Tremblay.

This is a cold, brutal, bizarre piece of fiction that I am extremely proud of. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.