Sunday, December 30, 2007

Sweeney Todd sucks

Rios took me out. She bought me nachos with two helpings of cheese instead of cheese and chili. We got jalapenos in a cup. I saw a huge poster for the new Indiana Jones and "There Will Be Blood", which I want to see. High school kids hung on there girlfriends and screamed and made asses of themselves. I don't understand why you can't punch a kid under 18. What is the thought behind this? If anyone deserves it, it's the puke that turns to people in the movies and talks to them not because he's sociable, but because for some unfathomable reason he thinks it's funny and that it will be impressive to the girl he's with. Before the movie even started he became too much for the girl and she left. He followed.

Bit of a digression, there. Sorry.

Three drunk sorority girls sat behind us. They were annoying and loud, but I held Rios's hand and kept my temper. The movie started and here are my critiques:

1) Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is an awesome name for a movie.

2) Jesus fuck the music is boring. Every time these people started singing it was like waiting for the bus.

3) Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter are fantastic actors. Not so much singers.

4) The gore is fucking fantastic, but I think the best throat gore still goes to "No Country For Old Men." Somehow that one burst carotid artery at the beginning owns all the kills in "Sweeney Todd."

5) My biggest problem with the film is ghostly. Hard to explain, or to even understand myself.

Imagine a crazy old man who promises to show you something interesting and then shows you pictures of the interesting thing to get you interested then he tells you how the story ends and that's it. You're done. That's kind of how Tim Burton seems to be making movies. I think I mentioned it with Corpse Bride, but it's unique to both of these films: Feels like there's something missing. I don't know what. But they feel hollow to the point of echo and it makes my skull throb.

I believe I may hate this film. Which is a shame. It's well acted and beautiful looking but it just feels like there is nothing there. NOTHING. OH MY GOD I THINK IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

It honestly hurts my brain. Goodnight.


There is two dollars and some change curled in an empty box of Wal-Mart brand medicated chest rub. I am not sure why it's there. I want to take it, maybe for a coke, but it seems to be there for a reason.

I'm folding a giant pile of laundry.

The grass is gold and it's warm outside but I wish that winter would just hit us full on. It's too much of a tease.

Saw a golden retriever dragging its tiny French looking owner along today. I sat on my porch and watched it, half because it was funny and a quarter because it was a beautiful dog and another quarter because if it shit on my lawn the walker and I were going to have words.

Rios took me out last night to Taco Cabana. I had Sour Cream chicken enchiladas and a Dos Equis and Rios had a cherry Fanta and a quesadilla which she didn't finish so I did. It's got nothing on Taco Bell's quesadilla. What's up with that place being so delicious?

We have this picture in Kirklands, it's a map and it's got Latin words written around it and I'm passing the time trying to translate it with no help whatsoever. So far I've translated "illustratus" and the prefix "terra" and I'm trying desperately to remember "integro" which I know forms integrity or integral. Maybe it means "center"?

As you can see, I've got three words out of about ten or eleven. I'm on the fucking case. And I'm also really bored at work. The store is empty, closing. So what the fuck?

I think I'm going to see Sweeney Todd tonight. Looking forward to it.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Many Cocks of the Kirk

Something I don't understand is when people get fucked and they say, "Is that all you've got?"

I mean sure at the end of it one might say to another, "Damn, did you see how much Tom fit in her vagina? Impressive." But it still leaves you with a broken box.

The home decor store in which I work isn't doing so hot. So they're closing the one we're in at the end of January. I say fuck this, but all my coworkers seem determined to keep working their asses off for a company that has it's cock shoved firmly and Shiva-like up our collective asses.

The last fifteen minutes I sort of sit there, and I get shit for it. WHY? What does it matter? We're being SHITCANNED. Come on.

I need a new job. Suggestions?

Kahlua beats me. Dig the eye.

Everyone at work asked, "Did Stacey give you a black eye?"