Today Rios and I drove three hours to Dallas to watch Flight of the Conchords. The rain would not let up on the way down. We passed a car that had flipped into a ditch, we slowed down to watch the guy getting pulled out of the wreckage, the look on his face was like "FUCK." The rain continued. We stopped in a Flying J and purchased an 8x10 framed hologram portrait of a snarling wolf. She's got snow on her muzzle, and she will kill you.
We stopped at the Ripley's museum to use the bathroom. There's a button in there that makes a fart noise if you press it. Rios did not press it, because buttons make her nervous. We took pictures by giant steel dinosaurs.
Grand Prairie, TX is the asshole that Dallas never wipes. We're talking vast expanses of fertile land, with nothing to eat along the way. Ten mile strip of road includes: a Burger King, a Popeyes, a Subway, and a Taco Bell. We chose the Taco Bell, and I was retarded and went against my typical strategy, which is to order the least complicated thing on the menu when I'm in a strange Taco Bell. I got specific with it, extra this, steak that, and they fucked it all up. But I have a soft spot for fast food workers, and the food was still good, so I ate it. The tables were really high relative to the seats, maybe people in Grand Prairie have big bellies.
We got to the Nokia ampitheater really early. First ones there. Waited outside. Watched folks get royally pissed at the ticket handler who claimed they couldn't give Will Call tickets out until 6:15. "Six-fifteeen? This is horse cock!" etc. The guy in front of me at the Will Call was the stinkiest motherfucker I've ever smelled. Ever. Rancid BO.
Met Sebastian and Danielle there. We chatted for a long time and I drank three cups of six-point beer, which they told me were $8, which showed up on the reciept as $8, but now that I'm checking it, are on my bank statement as $9.60.
The show? The show was great, but what else can you say? Eugene Mirman was fucking hilarious, you must seek out things with his name on them. And FOTC was great, very charming, seemed like.
Ride back was steamy and quick, kind of like the last time I fucked your mom.