america's abusive boyfriend

Think of the Republicans, or the right wing, as a man. The Democrats, too. Two men. Now, think of the American people as an insecure woman.

In 2000, the insecure woman was torn between the nice guy and the bad boy. The nice guy was smarter and had better ideas, but the bad boy was tougher and had swagger by the truckload. When the woman grudgingly picked the pussy, the bad boy went out of his way to lie to her and win her over. It worked.

In 2004, the relationship had turned abusive. But at this point, which is at times the unfortunate case, the abusive boyfriend held sway over the insecure woman. "Don't leave me," he says. "It it'll kill you. You need me." And in her broken-down state (achieved, as it always is, over years of subtle manipulation), this woman once again chose the boyfriend over the nice guy.

Now, in 2006, the woman grows a pair and sends the bastard a message. She says, "You're on your way out, I'm done with this."

But in 2008, when it comes time to choose again, the bad boyfriend, this GOP motherfucker, shows up at her door nicely dressed. With some roses. With cardboard cut-out promises of change. And for just a second, he looks attractive again. He was so nice when they first met...

You are not this stupid, America. C'mon. I love you, grow a brain and stop letting these fucks have their way with you. Don't listen to that bastard's silver tongue. It got you twice, twice. He stole eight years of your life.

Please, for the sake of my sanity, do not make this mistake again.